Weirdest Things Americans Got Stuck Up Or In Themselves This Year

If there’s one thing the good people of the United States of America love, it seems… It’s sticking weird objects inside themselves. And better yet? Getting them STUCK. That’s right, it happens all too often. And we’ve a list of the weirdest things stuck in people in 2016 right here for you.

With information from The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission – the experts in things rammed up butts – let’s take a look at some of the craziest things shoved in noses, mouths, ear, genitals and back passages this year, shall we?

Well, why not, huh?!

Things Found Inside People (1)

Plenty gets lodged in mouths and throats, including: glow sticks, rulers, bottles of dog shampoo and even an asthma inhalers (that’s proof of poor technique, surely).

Things get lodged in wieners too, apparently. Like pens. Sandal buckles and doll’s shoes (creepy). And even MARBLES.

Things Found Inside People (1)

Taken out of v*ginas in 2016: USB adaptors, “a small painting kit”, “some pointy toy pigs”, glowsticks and even a pack of cigarettes (complete with lighter).

And out of butts: egg timers, chess pieces, candy canes, shot glasses, decorative pumpkins, bingo chips, hammers, baseballs and flashlights.

Things Found Inside People (1)

Our personal favourite extract from the report? This phrase:

“SHOESHINE CONTAINER ALLEGEDLY INTOXICATED DID NOT KNOW GF INSERTED OBJECT.”

What a relationship they must have, eh???

Things Found Inside People (1)

Stay classy, America.