Dan Dunn and Savannah Boyce are a happy couple. Even now. Even after she clamped his p*nis in a pair of red hot hair straighteners. Why? Well, because it was an accident. Dan was being stupid and waving his junk about, playfully trying to get some. Savannah was getting ready for a night out and straightening her hair. She clamped the hot tools his way like an alligator. Only, it went wrong…
Dan told British newspaper The Sun: “It was excruciating – no man should ever have to experience pain like that – I almost fainted.”
Savannah can take up the rest of the story: “I was getting ready, so wasn’t really in the mood. I had been using them for about five or 10 minutes so they were fully heated.”
“He had exposed himself out of his track suit bottoms and was complimenting me, saying I looked nice. Dan has a habit of doing this, he always wants a bit and doesn’t stop pestering me. I told him ‘no’ but he persisted.”
“I began snapping together my straighteners like an alligator to make him back away and we were both laughing,” Savannah goes on. “But as he pulled himself from the back of my pyjamas, I accidentally clamped him, just for a second.”
“He was howling in pain and ran to the bathroom where the cold tap went on full power. When he came out we inspected the damage. He was in agony.”
“Dan wanted to keep it outside his trousers while I drove him to Medway Maritime Hospital because he couldn’t bear anything to touch it, but instead we wrapped it in a plastic shopping bag.”
Dan can wrap the story up for us. You see… He’s learned a lesson from all this burnt sausage action.
“I should have known better than to approach her while she was armed and dangerous, but I can’t help it, she is a s*xy woman,” he said.
“It looks like I will be out of action for three months. I have learned my lesson. Next time I want a little bit of nookie, I’ll just ask politely starting with ‘Savannah darling…'”